Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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