I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
