I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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