i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i've created a new STD.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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