So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
