that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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