i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
