it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
where am i from again
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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