Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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