woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
