There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
