Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
