have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize