Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
