There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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