He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
NoShamevember. You game?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
