DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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