I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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