I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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