he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
