They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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