There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
