a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
