I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
