I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
