too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
