he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
