My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
