he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
