I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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