my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
