I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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