WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
