Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
