I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize