Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
