Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dear god my vagina.
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