Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
