If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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