i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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