Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize