You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
