At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
