Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize