i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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