Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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