Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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