Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
