I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
