WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
