OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
