Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
