its not stalking. its research.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
