Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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