you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
