Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
