and next time when you feel me up, do it right
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
