I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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