I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
