You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
